Kenpachi Uzumaki
by Captain Ash
Summary: This is response to YoukoTaichou's "Naruto Zaraki" challenge. What happens when everyone's favorite knucklehead ninja has the power of Kenpachi Zaraki? Utter chaos! Summary sucks but it's a cool story I promise!
1. Chapter 1

Kenpachi Uzumaki

Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Bleach and all related characters belong to Tite Kubo.

Chapter 1: Terror, Thy name is Uzumaki

It was a rainy day in Konohagakure, as a six year old Naruto Uzumaki walked alone to his apartment. He was an orphan in the bad part of Konohagakure. This meant he had to be careful not to go down the wrong alley or else he'd be mugged or worse. However it was this day that Naruto made the mistake of taking a shortcut to get home faster to get out of the rain as fast as he could. The young boy went down an alley, and much to his dismay, it was a dead end. Naruto began to turn around when suddenly he saw someone standing at the end of the alley. It was Mizuki, the resident bully of the neighborhood.

"Well looks like the Fox Brat is all alone. No ANBU or that old fart of a Hokage to protect you!" Mizuki said as he walked down the alley toward the boy. The white-haired teen drew one of the swords on his back, a black bladed sword with a manji symbol shaped guard and small chain dangling off the hilt with a bell attached to it.

"Here's an idea..." Mizuki said as he tossed the sword at Naruto.

"Let's see if you can beat me!" Naruto looked down at the blade and attempted to pick it up. Much to his and Mizuki's surprise, he could hold it with little effort. Mizuki didn't question it as he drew his other sword and charged at Naruto. The boy quickly put up the black bladed sword and quickly blocked the attack. Naruto was surprised that he had done that so easily, but he quickly put the thought out of his head as he struggled to fend off Mizuki.

"You're pretty good Fox Brat!" Mizuki said as he kept slashing away at Naruto, who kept dodging and blocking with his sword. Naruto was scared out of his mind, but he had to admit that he was having the time of his life! Naruto saw an opening and made a strike of his own at Mizuki. The white-haired growled in pain as he backed away, looking down at his bleeding arm. Naruto then had a look of pure excitement on his young face, as his eyes began to shine with a yellow glow.

"That's it! TIME TO FINISH IT!" Mizuki said as he charged toward the young boy. He raised his sword high and swung it down at Naruto. However much to Mizuki's surprise, Naruto caught the blade with his bare hand and held it as blood ran down his arm.

"Finish it?" Naruto questioned in a low tone as Mizuki started to feel Naruto's chakra build up. Naruto then threw it Mizuki back with amazing strength for a six year old.

"Why?" Naruto asked a his chakra began to become visible, yellow in color.

'How can a freshman at the Academy have this much chakra?' Mizuki thought as his heart raced.

"THINGS ARE JUST GETTING FUN!" Naruto yelled as the cloud of chakra surrounding him took the form of a skull. Naruto then swung at Mizuki from a distance and a streak of yellow chakra came from the tip of the blade and sliced Mizuki in half. Naruto stood their as he looked down at his sword and said,

"That was fun!"

**FAST FORWARD 6 YEARS LATER**

* * *

Kiba Inuzka?" Iruka Umino, a teacher at Konohagakure's Nina Academy, called as he read over a clipboard.

"Here." A boy with a hooded parka said.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" Silence filled the classroom.

"Yeah I'm here." A rather large 12 year old said from the back of the class. He had spiky blond hair and blue eyes though one of them was hidden by an eye-patch. He wore two bells dangling on chains on each ear, a long light-grey coat with the sleeves cut off, no shirt, black hakama pants, a white sash around the waist, and black sandals. On the desk in front of the boy was a sword in a black scabbard. It was six feet long, and had a six inch chain on the butt of the hilt with a small bell on the end.

"Alright class, as you already know, today is the Final Exam. Pass, and you receive your headbands. Fail, and well I'll see you next year." Iruka said as he put his clipboard down. Iruka then pulled down at chart over the blackboard and said,

"Alright, the first part is a sparring match. Naruto is the best fighter in the class so he'll go first." Naruto stood up to his full 5'6 height, taller than the rest of his class, and tucked his sword into his sash as he headed headed to the training field. As he passed Iruka, his teacher said,

"Remember to take it easy on the rest of them Naruto, I don't want a repeat of what happened with Sakura." Naruto shrugged and said,

"Yeah, yeah. Besides it was her fault for hitting me, she should'a known that when someone hits me they better be ready to go a round." Iruka sighed as Naruto left the room.

* * *

"All right everyone, the first match is between Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha." Iruka said as he read from his clipboard. A boy with black hair styled like the backside of a duck walked into the sparring area. Sasuke drew a kunai as he said walked in front of Naruto and said,

"Just because everyone else is scared of you, doesn't mean I am you pathetic loser." Naruto just gave a shark-like grin and said as he drew his sword,

"I don't care if you're scared'a me! I just care about a good fight, and for your sake you better hope you put up a good one!" Iruka stepped in and said,

"Alright, no jutsu allowed. Only taijutsu and weapons." Iruka then raised his hand and said,

"Fighters ready?" He received grunts as a yes.

"Begin!" Iruka said as he threw his hand down. The exact minute Iruka began the match, Naruto was directly in front of Sasuke with his sword high above his head. Sasuke managed to dodge as Naruto brought it down, creating a sizable crack in the ground. Naruto smirked as he charged again at Sasuke, swinging his sword effortlessly with with only his right hand. Sasuke was barely avoiding Naruto's strikes as the blond laughed insanely. Suddenly Naruto drew his sword back and made a large swipe, which Sasuke blocked with his kunai. However the kunai shattered and the sword didn't slow down any as it came inches away from Sasuke's torso. Sasuke was then bisected, but with a puff of smoke it was revealed to be a log. Suddenly everyone heard Sasuke yell from the other side of Naruto,

"FIRE STYLE: FIREBALL JUTSU!" And a gigantic fireball engulfed the blond. Iruka ran over to Sasuke and took a hold of his arm as he said,

"What is wrong with you? You killed Naruto!" Suddenly a massive blast of chakra filled the area, extinguishing the fire.

"That all you got?" Naruto said, his clothes barely singed and skin only slightly red from the heat. Everyone stood mouth agape as Naruto walked toward Sasuke with his sword ready to strike.

"That's enough, Naruto wins as Sasuke illegally used jutsu." Iruka said as he stepped between the swordsman and the Uchiha. Naruto frowned and grumbled about being cheated out of a fight. Naruto was met with boos from Sasuke's fangirls but ignored them as he took a seat on the bench and went to his second favorite activity, sleeping.

* * *

The rest of the day went normally. Naruto had a couple of more fights, all interrupted by Iruka, he ate lunch, took a nap during class, and made genin. Yes Naruto despite his inability to use any Academy jutsu and having dismal grades, passed the genin exam. This was an order from the Hokage himself that Naruto be allowed to pass, believing that Naruto was more than capable of defending himself on a mission. Also the fact that the blond had enough chakra for 50 jonin didn't hurt either. Naruto headed to his apartment, his forehead protector replacing his sash. He waled down the back alleys, hoping to find a another fight before the day was over. He wish was granted as he came upon a six thugs standing around in the alley.

"Give us your money!" One of them said, drawing a wakizashi and pointing it at Naruto. The hulking blond just chuckled and said,

"You call that a sword?" Naruto then drew his own sword from his hip and said,

"THIS is a sword!" The blond then began to fight all three thugs, slaying them with no effort at all. Naruto looked around at the bloody bodies and frowned.

"That was barely worth my time!" Naruto complained as he leaned against a dumpster. Suddenly he heard something rustling from a cardboard box a few feet away. Naruto cut his eyes over to the box as a small child came out of it. It appeared to be a girl, possibly around four or five years old, with long dirty brown hair, brown eyes, and raggedy clothes. Naruto raised an eyebrow at the girl, who crawled over to him and looked at his blood covered sword. The

"You're really strong!" The girl said as she looked up and giggled at Naruto.

"What are ya doing out here kid?" Naruto asked the girl. The girl's smile faded as she said,

"I used to live far away. My Daddy killed my Mommy and tried to kill me, so I ran away." Naruto, for all of his psychotic characteristics, felt sympathy for the girl. He never knew his father, and her's killed her mother and almost killed her. Naruto truly felt sorry for the girl, so he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder as he said,

"Alright girly, you're coming with me. I'll get ya some food and you can crash at my place." The girl's eyes were wide with shock, but she shook her head and said,

"Thank you mister, but my name is Haku and I'm a boy." Naruto stopped in his tracks and said,

"You sure?" The VERY feminine looking boy then said,

"Yes sir." Naruto just shrugged slightly and said,

"All right." As they reached Naruto's apartment, Haku said,

"What's your name?" Naruto entered his rather dingy looking apartment and said as he sat Haku down,

"Naruto Uzumaki." Haku nodded and looked around the apartment. It looked rather dirty and had instant ramen containers all around it.

"This place is kinda dirty for a house." Haku said as she walked around the fairly small apartment.

"This coming from the kid who was livin' in a cardboard box. I ain't exactly into spring cleaning." Naruto said as he opened his refrigerator and took out a couple of sodas. Naruto then began to cook a couple of instant ramen. Naruto sat down on his bed, an action Haku mirrored, and handed the younger boy a soda as he waited for the ramen to finish. Naruto began to drink his fairly fast, but Haku just stared at his drink. Naruto noticed he wasn't drinking so he said,

"Something wrong kid?" Haku just kept staring at his drink as he said,

"Does this mean you're my new Daddy?" Naruto nearly choked on his drink when he heard that. Naruto looked down at the startled boy and simply said,

"If you want I guess." Haku then dropped his drink and hugged the older boy tightly. Naruto suddenly felt a warm feeling inside, but didn't think about it much as he noticed the food was done. He handed Haku his cup and both began to eat.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

Kenpachi Uzumaki

Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Bleach and all related characters belong to Tite Kubo.

Chapter 2: New Teams, And New Fights

Naruto woke up to find Haku laying next to him. The blond swordsman grumbled as he got up, waking Haku in the process. Haku rubbed his eyes and looked up at Naruto who said,

"Alright, if you're gonna live here then we need to lay down some ground rules." Haku sat up and listened intently.

"Rule one, no calling me Daddy or Dad. I ain't signed anything, so legally I'm not anyway." Naruto said, earning a slightly disappointed look from the feminine boy.

"Rule two, if you're gonna live here, you're sleeping on the couch from now on. I don't need people thinking I'm a pedo." Haku didn't know what a "Pedo" was but nodded just the same.

"Rule three, if your gonna hang around me then you gotta learn to fight." The blond then grabbed his sword and dropped it in front of Haku, who looked wide-eyed at it.

"Pick it up, I need to see what you can do." Naruto said. Haku got off of the bed and tried to lift the sword, but could barely get it an inch off the floor.

"Come one! I was SWINGING this sword around when I was your age!" Naruto snapped, causing Haku to jump back with tears in his eyes. The blond just sighed.

'Looks like I'm dealing with one of those sensitive types. Kill me now.' Naruto thought as he looked down at the whimpering boy.

"I'm not exactly used to dealing with kids, so I'm...sorry or whatever." The blond said as he rubbed the back of his head. Haku sniffled one last time before brightening up and said,

"It's okay, I'll just need to get stronger!" The blond swordsman smirked a little at this.

"You got the right attitude kid!" Naruto said. The blond then caught a glimpse of his clock and saw that he was an hour late for his team placement.

"Look I gotta go. If you're hungry there's ramen in the cabinet. You can read right?" Naruto said. Haku nodded yes as Naruto left the apartment. However the minute he walked outside and locked the door, he saw Haku standing next to him.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked, a little shocked the kid was that fast.

"I'm coming with you." Haku said, giving a cheerful smile. Naruto thought for a moment, would it really be that bad bringing him along?

"Sure, why not?" The mad swordsman said as he began to head toward the Academy.

* * *

The Academy was a buzz with the excited chatter of the fresh genin. Naruto walked in and everyone quieted down, getting looks of shock at him having a child walking next to him.

"Naruto who's your friend?" Iruka asked as he eyed the raggedy looking child next to his student.

"I'm Haku, Naruto's new son!" The hobo child said cheerfully. Everyone fell over in shock at this. Iruka recovered first and said,

"Naruto, is there something you want to tell us?" The eye-patched genin simply went to his seat and said,

"Not really." Iruka was about to say something else, but decided against it. After regaining his composure, Iruka said,

"Alright, the teams for this year are as follows..." Naruto closed his eyes and said,

"Haku, wake me up when he calls my name." Haku nodded as his unofficial father drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Naruto Uzumaki..." Iruka said, causing Haku to yell into Naruto's ear,

"WAKE UP!" The blond swordsman quickly jerked up, sword ready, and nearly throwing Haku off him. Naruto looked around, searching for what had woken him up.

"He called your name." Haku said innocently. The eye-patch wearer sighed as he looked down at Iruka and said,

"Okay, so what weaklings am I stuck with?" This earned him glares from the rest of the class, save a certain Hyuga. Everyone might have been scared of Naruto, but that didn't mean they weren't afraid to show their displeasure with his words.

"Actually Naruto, you've been selected for an apprenticeship." The scarred instructor said. Naruto raised an eyebrow at this, wondering who'd want him all to their selves.

'Probably a pervert.' Naruto thought.

"WHAT? WHY DOES THAT IDIOT GET SPECIAL TREATMENT AND NOT SASUKE? HE CAN'T EVEN USE JUTSU!" A certain pink-haired banshee screamed.

"Can't and won't. Jutsu is for pussies." Naruto said as he got up and headed to the front of the class.

"So where is the guy?" The young swordsman asked. He then heard a whizzing noise, so he took a step back, dodging a large black projectile that shot through the window. The projectile unrolled into a large banner and kunai's flew out to stab the corners in place. The banner read,

"Konohagakure's Number 1 Sexiest Kunoichi: Anko Mitarashi!" Naruto stared at the girl. She appeared to be 15 or 16 years old, the back of her medium purple hair was tied in a wild high pony tail and her eyes were light brown. The tan trench coat failed at hiding her slender curves and her modest bust, especially when the only thing hiding them from view was a short sleeved body mesh, and a short rust orange mini-skirt.

"I'm here for Naruto Uzumaki!" Anko yelled, as Naruto drew his sword and made a slash at the woman. Anko quickly dodged as Naruto chased after her with his sword, shocking many in the class.

"You want me? YOU GOT ME!" Naruto roared with delight evident in his voice. Anko kept dodging and as she said,

"Good to see you got a good fire in you." The blond swordsman just gave a wide, borderline insane, smile and replied,

"You ain't seen nothing yet!" Suddenly Iruka stepped in, causing Naruto to barely avoid giving him another scar.

"Naruto, Anko is your sensei." Iruka said, only to be met with a raised eyebrow from his former student.

"So, no fight to the death?" Naruto asked, to which Iruka replied,

"No Naruto, you can't have a fight to the death with your sensei!" The swordsman grumbled in disappointment as he sheathed his sword.

"Well then kid, let's get a move on!" Anko said as she walked out of the classroom. Naruto followed her, but with a very lackluster speed.

"What good's a sensei if I can't fight her?" Naruto said aloud to no one in particular.

"Maybe she's gonna teach you sword stuff!" Haku said as he followed the blond.

"Yeah right." Was the swordsman's simple reply.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! Also I have a REASON for making Haku a boy, so please just bear with it and all will be made clear as to why. And to all those perverts out there, no he won't be paired with Naruto.**


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